Don't draw sad faces on your legal pad!

In my Legal Writing class in law school, we were all required to do oral arguments. An oral argument is an argument spoken by an attorney to an appellate court as to why his or her side should prevail in a case. In this class, our fact pattern required us to speak to Supreme Court Justices (not really, just pretend) and argue for or against religious-based peremptory challenges. I’m not going to go into what those are or even which side I argued for.

After my oral argument was complete and before we received reviews from the Justices, I was upset because I felt that I had done very poorly and would receive a low grade as a result. I had a legal pad and I kept drawing sad faces on it while my opponent spoke. I had determined that my oral argument was sub-par despite hours of preparation for it. I kept drawing sad faces. Over and over.

When review time came around, it turned out that I had done remarkably well! Even though I had become internally flustered, I had maintained my composure and answered questions with clarity and insight. I was thrilled. And shocked. Since I had become so flustered in my mind during my oral argument, I just assumed that it had shown outwardly and that I had done poorly. This simply wasn’t the case. I had done very well.

After the round was over, I went to my Legal Writing professor (who was one of the Justices in my oral argument round) and told her the story about the sad faces on my legal pad. She said something that initially made me laugh, but eventually really resonated with me. She said, “Nan, I don’t know how to make you not you.”

You might be taken aback by that statement, but know that it came from a sincere heart. She was not trying to criticize me, but rather was trying to explain to me that I was too hard on myself. She explained to me that I was a perfectionist and that I couldn’t see my accomplishments because I only focused on the negatives. She told me that I had done well on my oral argument, I am a good student, and I should be more confident in that regard.

I threw those pages from the legal pad away just yesterday. It reminded me that even when things don’t go as planned, they may still be going in the right direction. Don’t be too tough on yourself. Allow yourself to see your accomplishments. Be fair to yourself.  

Take care,

--Nan